Inspired by my friend and coaching colleague, Todd Musselman.
“…in the small action of speaking my truth I have reclaimed my power and spirit by reinventing myself….” Todd Musselman
This July marks the one year anniversary of speaking my truth about wanting a divorce. Committed to living an extraordinary life, I could no longer “settle”.
The past year has been full of change, discord, and painful letting go as I went from making the life-changing decision to… entering mediation, dividing material and monetary possessions, finding a new home, and taking on new responsibilities as a single parent. It’s been a lot to navigate and process, as those who have been through it I’m sure can imagine.
But it has also been a year of great personal empowerment, freedom to chart my own course, deeper bonding with my daughter and the growth and confidence that comes from owning the power of my voice to declare what I want and don’t want.
Never before have I had to advocate so strongly for myself – especially around money and assets. (How perfect that I get to practice what I coach, right?!) Lots of soul searching to find my true north of what is “fair and equitable” and then being willing to take a stand for it under sometimes heated conditions. I’m not saying I didn’t boil over on more than one occasion, but overall, I was able to keep my cool.
And I notice that
as I up the ante on owning the power of my voice to speak up, stand in my truth and navigate life from my inner voice, I feel more alive, authentic, confident and whole.
Apparently it’s magnetic because through it all I’m working and marketing less, putting more focus and time on my wellness, yet creating more income than ever!
From the courageous action of speaking my truth, I have reclaimed my power and spirit and am consciously reinventing myself, just like my friend, Todd.
Yet there is something that came before speaking my truth, as well as beliefs and behaviors that carried me forward with the results I’m now creating that I want to unpack in service of the unfolding of your extraordinary life. For me, these were like superpowers that got me through the challenges of divorce with strength and grace and support me in building a new life.
Perhaps the superpowers I leaned on will ignite you to speak your truth, too, in whatever area of life will create the greatest transformation for you.
The Power of Speaking Your Truth
“When we swallow our voices we swallow our choices.” Powerful. It’s a quote from Tryshe Dehvney, sound healer. I kept this quote front and center in my consciousness the whole time. It strengthened the muscle of making bold requests, saying what is so, saying yes when I meant it, and saying no in healthy ways. I am far from perfect, but letting my voice out and be heard is my lifelong practice. It is a bridge between thought and manifestation. When you let your voice out and speak your truth, you become the creator and healer of your own life.
Q: What are you suppressing, holding back, diminishing or swallowing, the expression of which would open up a world of new choices and possibilities?
The Power of Decision
Until I made a clear and final decision, it was as if everything I wanted out of life was on hold. Indecision was my “safe” escape from taking responsibility for my life and happiness. Once I made the decision, my next action easily revealed itself – tell my husband with love and compassion – and let the process of release unfold.
Q: Where and when in your life did you make a clear and powerful decision? What shifted for you as a result?
The Power of Certainty
I have complete and utter certainty that everything that happens is somehow for my good and helps me evolve. That doesn’t mean I operate in a laissez-faire manner. It means I show up, do my best and trust Spirit to handle the rest. And Spirit always does.
Q: Where are you not “showing up”, the handling of which would bring certainty to your results?
The Power of Declaring
Early on in the process of divorce, I had a BIG AHA. I noticed I was asking for what I wanted (as if he was my dad and I needed his permission) instead of DECLARING. Wow! Talk about imprinting and conditioning from childhood! I made another decision in that moment of awareness…no more settling for whatever comes my way. I get to declare what I want and stand in my power about it. In the end, I got what I believed was fair and equitable and we’ve maintained mutual respect for each other.
Q: Where are you waiting or asking for someone to give you permission to have what you really want when you could be declaring?
The Power of Leadership
Along with declaring came leadership – showing up prepared to meetings, following through with commitments, keeping conversations focused and on track, setting clear intentions, communicating respectfully, setting healthy boundaries, honoring my word. Leaning on this superpower was like taking a confidence vitamin that assured me I could trust myself to handle whatever came my way.
Q: When you think of past successes, what personal leadership qualities were you embodying? What area of your life could use those qualities now?
The way I see it, settling for less than what you deserve, are worth, have earned or want, can’t foster an extraordinary life nor will it feed your soul. So I ask you, what courageous action – in the form of speaking your truth – are you willing to take to go for what you really want? By when?
After a year of moving through divorce, the truth is I need to recharge my batteries. And I am taking the courageous action of taking two weeks of much-needed time off this month and next to release, restore and reinvent myself. Unplugged and powered down. Ah…I hear my soul calling.