It’s Time for You to Go

It’s been a while since I’ve written about speaking up and setting boundaries, so when a situation came up last week that required me to own the power of my voice, I knew I had to share about it.

Like many women, my conditioning is to be “nice” (aka pleasant; agreeable). So, when someone else’s seemingly dire situation spills over and impacts me, I feel the urge to be “nice”. Thankfully, I can now feel the urge, but no longer fall into that doormat trap (or if I do, I clean it up quickly).

Here was the situation in a nutshell. After you read it, take five minutes to answer the question prompts that follow for yourself.

I’m an Airbnb host and had a middle-aged guest who failed to inform me that he had a medical condition with his feet and legs, for which he took insufficient measures to manage. (I won’t go into the unsavory details.) I did not discover his condition or the extent of the impact until well into his stay. This resulted in significant property damage to my home that would need to be mitigated, and I had another guest arriving the day after his planned departure.

His story goes…He was discharged from the hospital with no home to go to. His family refused to help him anymore, and he was living off a Go Fund Me campaign. It was apparent he had a victim mindset and was giving me T-M-I about his personal life. My be “nice” button was being pushed…but I resisted. I am no longer willing to pay the price for someone else’s circumstances or behavior.

Here’s the tricky part. As a host, if you terminate a guest’s stay, you can be penalized and receive an unflattering public notice from Airbnb. However, if the guest submits a request to change his reservation, everything is fine. I needed to speak my truth and set my boundaries in such a way as to have him see it was time for him to move on a day early, so I would have time to have the space deep cleaned.

I followed my trusty, field-tested template for having difficult conversations and was able to be empathetic, yet clear and firm. By the end of the just five-minute conversation, he agreed to shorten his stay by a day without me terminating it. Instead of being “nice”, I chose to be helpful and provided him with a couple resources he could explore for housing and other support.

Life is full of unpleasant, unanticipated, unavoidable situations, but you can learn to handle them with grace and tact if you practice speaking up and setting clear boundaries. Your wellbeing and peace of mind are well worth the effort.

And in case you are wondering… Airbnb will, thankfully, help cover the cleaning and replacement costs.

What are your key takeaways from this story?

What’s one thing you can do today, right now to take back your power?