One of my money boundaries has always been to pay off my credit card every month…except (confession) at Christmas time. I’ve never been a huge spender at Christmas since all the gift giving hubbub never made much sense to me and it made me anxious around money. But I used to give myself permission to rack up a little credit card debit (which meant I was spending money I hadn’t earned and that someone else owned – think about that!). Even then, I was careful not to create a balance that was more than I could pay off within a month after the Christmas bill came due.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the holiday season – the celebration of light and love in the world, music, colorful lights, the spirit of kindness and giving. But I’m not a fan of the stress, pressure to consume, and expectations of gift giving and receiving that has become part and parcel to season.
As someone who, over the last several years, has leaned whole heartedly into minimalism, I’ve deliberately chosen to do Christmas differently with zero pushback from my family and friends. Apparently, I’m not the only one who values less “stuff” and simplifying life, especially at the holidays! It’s been an excellent way to practice new boundaries.
As I embraced minimalism and took ALL my boundary areas to task (including money and “stuff”), the first holiday change I made was setting and sticking to a budget – only spending what I already had set aside for gifts, which eliminated any need to borrow money from the credit card company. That felt great but it also still felt like too much “stuff” that would quickly be forgotten or not valued by the receiver.
The next year, my loved ones and I decided to forgo material stuff altogether except for a full stocking and homemade consumables. Instead, we opted for shared experiences like holiday lights at the Botanic Gardens, a solstice candle lantern walk out on an open space trail, a day at the art museum, and such…within the established budget. We even skipped the traditional Christmas tree and my super creative teenager made a really cool mixed media God’s Eye to hang over the mantle. It was great!
That year worked so well and was such a rich, love-filled experience that we are keeping things pretty much the same this year. The best memories we have of the holidays are amazing breakfasts shared with my kids (one is a grown up) and a different very non-traditional feast for dinner each year shared with our closest friends. (Last year it was Moroccan fare, yum! The year before it was king crab legs and filet mignon.)
So much more freedom, joy, creativity, and relief has come from unhooking from consumerism norms and setting values-based money and stuff boundaries. And see! My family remembers the shared meals more than anything. Couldn’t tell you what gifts were given or received.
Journal Prompt:
What are your values around what’s most important at the holidays? If you could wave a magic wand and have your just-right “stuff” boundaries this holiday season, what would they be? What money boundary could you set that would truly enrich your holiday experience?
Peace and harmony,
Dinah